Markley's Blog

From The Vault

Why do I write?  I love to tell stories, paint pictures with a swipe of my pen instead of the stroke of a brush. (Okay, pen swiping in 2016 doesn’t happen all that much with me, but it makes for a good analogy). When I write, I am exposing my inner self in order to entertain, inform, or express myself because I enjoy writing. That’s what painters do.  You often hear people say things about a portrait like, you can see the anger in each stroke… this was his blue period…in the gentle pastel colors you can see his mourning. It is all an interpretation.

In today’s world, writers open themselves to interpretation also.  Unfortunately, it’s to the “politically correct police” who do the interpreting.  We now have to be careful what comes forth from the emotions that entangle our heart, visions that invade our mind, and feelings that come deep from within our soul. It’s what drives our fingers to the keyboard. 

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech The idea of freedom of speech can be questioned, We decide to take a stand, share our thoughts which come from those entanglements, invasions, or searching’s. Our words are dissected, scrutinized, reviewed, sifted, or purged.  Not for writing style, proper sentence structure, length, or proper grammar.  It’s to try and dissect the intent of the writer’s heart, and after such examination, a label is placed.

Prejudice, bigot, homophobic, racist, chauvinist, liberal, conservative, warmonger, you name it.  We have issues… we hate this person… we love guns… we hate animals. Freedom of speech is free, once it gets sanitized.  Can we use the word censorship?

I think so.

The advantage of having a personal blog is that I can share my thoughts, take a stand, be exclusive with my words, and skip the sanitization.  That doesn’t mean I won’t be labeled.  What it does mean is I have my freedom.  My personalized right to tell stories, paint pictures and inform; my way; not being afraid of an editor saying, change this, delete that.  They have enough work editing my grammar.

When you read a story you get immersed in the scene and your heart races at the tension or suspense the protagonist is dealing with.  You start caring, loving, hating hoping, and anticipating the turn of each page.  A writer introduces and exposes a little of themselves with each word they add to their story.  That’s the joy of a writer – to create a piece of work that causes a reaction.

Writers love to get reactions.  When I hear someone laugh out loud, when that was the reaction I was hoping to achieve, I get excited at my accomplishment.  When I sit with other writers and read their latest work, I get inspired, influenced, motivated, and humbled.

I can be a little bit of an egomaniac.  I love to get the reaction I hoped for, but sometimes the adoration is an adrenalin rush I also enjoy.  I need to keep fighting between those emotions.  I am humbled every time the adulations come, especially from mentors.  I love to hear when readers share their reactions.  Again, it’s a rush getting the desired reaction I hoped for.

Writing is artistic expression.  An expression that should not be sanitized, diluted, dissected, or interpreted for it’s content. Writing is a form of speech that is protected by the First Amendment.   I want my writing to be enjoyed without the fear of being labeled.  But alas…if I am true to myself, write what I feel, expose the inner person, extol freely, be the true artist I desire to be, that egomaniac will rear its head and my freedom of speech will be practiced; the label that may be placed -may it be no more than balderdash.  I will write!     

From the Vault

I wrote a book!  I am a published author.  Now what?  All the accolades… resounding reviews… book signings… book tour… last but not least television and radio appearances.  Ahh… the life of a published author.  Not quite!  Yes, the book is written, and in some instances that would be the easy part.  Now, it’s letting everyone know that you wrote a book. 

            I chose to go the self-publishing route in order to get my story to the masses.  Now, depending on a person’s view, the masses could be personal friends, family members, co-workers, church or club members.  To others, like myself, not only would I like to reach all those I just eluded too, I want to reach the world.  Reach as many readers as possible.  That’s a very lofty goal. Some might say that’s a little arrogant.             

Maybe.

            Just like any other artist, what you created you want to share with others.  The passion, desire, and joy that you received from creating your manuscript, are the same emotions you want to share with the reader.  One problem, you need readers-which also means you need sales.  Choosing the path of being self-published, also means I took on all the logistics that came with that choice.  The biggest being promotion.  With a limited budget, I am limited on how to achieve that goal.  There are several books, articles, and blogs, about how to do that.  I applied what I could.  I have been in my local paper; interviewed on a local radio station, I even had a former Capo of the Colombo crime family tell all his Facebook friends that it was a well-written book.  He even compared it to “The Godfather.”  That should tell you, if you’re intrigued with the mafia, maybe you should get a copy.  “Necessary Death” is available on-line. (Some small promotion there; right in the middle of my blog).  Hey, when you take on all the aspects of promoting you grab any chance you can.

            The frustration comes when you try all the avenues but your masses are just not as massive as you would like.  Now self-doubt creeps in.  Second-guessing.  Insecurity in your abilities.  All those demons that worm their way into the artist psyche, that if allowed, could stop that creative process.  So as a writer, I just write.  I need to write, need to create.  I get pleasure out of creating a poem, short story or even a complete manuscript.  Even this blog is a piece of work I am proud of.  So no matter the size of the mass I reach, I will write out of the pleasure of writing.  Expounding my thoughts, opinions, and my creativity; because that’s what I love to do.

            Here is a very small excerpt from my upcoming book “Necessary Blood”.  Maybe, just maybe, with a few words, it will create a desire to check out my first book “Necessary Death”.  Sorry about the self-promotion, but, you know…

            Dominic stood, walked around his desk. He sat facing Luther.  “Are you with me?”

            “Man, you don’t even have to ask that question. You know I’m with you.  I just don’t want to see you do something that you may not be ready for. No offense brother, but you’re not Michael.”

            “You’re right; I’m not. But he threw this in my lap. He left me with his quagmire.   He left his enemies alive. Now they’re my enemies; I won’t leave them alive.”

            Boy I loved writing that.

I hade to make a drastic change. I had my own website for the last eight years, but my host just gave up on me so I have reverted back to my old site. My last post on this site was in the beginning of 2015. If you were a regular way back then, you may have wondered what happened.

So here I am trying to start over again. Luckily these posts were still available on this site, so I signed back up and restarted this blog. What I am going to do is dig through my files by date and start posting my blogs from my website in chronological order the best I can. Since my last blog on this site I have self-published two books. Necessary Death is the title of my first book and the second one is Necessary Blood. As you can tell it is a series. I am going to continue it with a third book entitled, Necessary Pain. There are images of both covers below. I hope to have the third one finished by the end of 2024, if not sooner.

My writing has stalled completely. This is the first writing I have created in a long time. Not to worry. I have a lot to say and I have said a lot the last eight years since I have posted on this site. I am going to start writing two blogs and have them posted by year’s end. While working on my third book, I will be posting previous blogs so you can catch up on where I am, who I am, and why I do what I do. All my older blogs will have a preface “From The Vault”. It sounds cool…. you know us writers!

My goals, as always, are lofty but attainable. Both books are available in softcover or KIndle on Amazon. Looking forward to sharing thoughts with you. Whether its a blog, poem, or short story, my desire is to write. Hope you will stick around. Links below are for the two books. Enjoy!

https://www.amazon.com/Necessary-Death-R-Michael-Markley/dp/1734464011/ref=sr_1_4?crid=203UKU98IVY10&keywords=Necessary+Death&qid=1702422128&sprefix=necessary+death%2Caps%2C237&sr=8-4

https://www.amazon.com/NECESSARY-BLOOD-R-MICHAEL-MARKLEY/dp/1734464003/ref=pd_bxgy_img_d_sccl_1/135-6862800-4480030?pd_rd_w=Dg0YU&content-id=amzn1.sym.839d7715-b862-4989-8f65-c6f9502d15f9&pf_rd_p=839d7715-b862-4989-8f65-c6f9502d15f9&pf_rd_r=BVP28N4H4ZEBZNW054CG&pd_rd_wg=YOEJH&pd_rd_r=cdf5ea96-7f68-4131-9114-ae7954868e55&pd_rd_i=1734464003&psc=1

I did a stupid thing.  You know how you hate to hear that from someone else?   Well this was something I had to admit and totally agree with.  Our usual schedule for Saturday mornings is to enjoy a breakfast out, and then do some running around and finish up errands.  It would most times make us spend a little more cash then what our budget would allow.  One of the traditional stops would be the bank.  We deposit money for the upcoming monthly expenses and pulling out what we budget for groceries and spend on entertainment.

This past Saturday was no different, (except).  We left the house on this vey brisk morning and made a stop at a friend’s house to drop something off.  Then we made our way to get our morning pick me up.  For my wife it would be coffee.  For me, a large Diet Coke.  I won’t get into the conversation we have about my choice.  That could be a whole other blog.  After that conversation we, as always, had a good laugh or two as we sat across from each other at breakfast.  I love the time that my wife and I have when it’s just us.  We can debate heavily, disagree heavily on said debate and then practically die laughing at something the other one said or did.

Well there was no laughing after the stupid thing I did later that morning.  See again I admit it was stupid.  Bonus points for me and some empathy once you find out how stupid I was.  It begins as we proceeded to our next location.  Out of the three banks we needed to stop at that morning, our first one was the next stop.  Then we stopped at a local hardware store to pick up some needed items for a future project coming up at my house.   Kristine, being the funny person that she is, took the opportunity to have a little slap stick with one of the props she found in the store.  She was laughing and told me to take a picture with my phone.

As I pulled my phone out of the pocket I also pulled out my pay check. That would be the reason for the second bank stop.   I said to myself, “Wow, better make sure I don’t drop that.”  I shoved it back in my pocket.  I then took the picture, which Kristine ended up hating.  We had no agenda so she asked me if I wanted to look at anything else.  We strolled for a while and looked at paint and ceiling fans.  That is for another completely different project that had nothing to do why we stopped there to begin with.  Now the fun starts.

We headed to the second bank I mentioned earlier.  There I was going to deposit and withdraw the needed funds for the week.  The automation today is so cool. I no longer have to go in or deal with a teller.  Not that I don’t like people, but because I was stupid I was glad it was just Kristine and the ATM that would learn how stupid I was.  (Again bonus points because you going to learn here real quick what happened).

As I pulled up to the ATM I reached into my pocket for the check and… wait … wait… You got it! No check!  I frantically pulled away from the ATM. I drove to the nearest parking spot and jumped out of the car and did a very quick inventory of all my pockets.  I did that inventory at least 3 times.  I jumped back in the car and expressed to Kristine that I can’t find it.  Another quick inventory.   “We need to back track and see if we can find it.” she boldly encouraged.  Then I had to drop the stupidity bomb.  “It’s signed” I blurted out.

Before we left the house to save time and not tie up the ATM line I put my signature on the back of the check.  I know!  How stupid is that?  First stop was the bank we had stopped before the hardware store.  I remember I pulled out my phone to check the forecast for the next couple of days.   Why?  I don’t know!  I was hoping it fell and was on the floor right up against the counter and no one would even notice it.  Nope!  I asked out of desperation if anyone had found a check.  “No sir”, was the response I did not want to hear, but was what I was greeted with.  Who I am I kidding I said to myself?   Anybody that finds a check that is already sign more than likely is not going to turn it in.  That is such a poor retrospect of our world, but in most cases unfortunately, also a fact.  Back to the car and another quick inventory.  Isn’t it funny how we will check and check and hope that one of those times we will find what we had been frantically been looking for?  No luck.  Next stop the hardware store.  This whole time Kristine was in pure silence and I was also.  As we drove I did my best to not break the law or yell at the other drivers that were driving way to slow.  Don’t they know I may have lost my check?  The check that I had already signed?  Of course they didn’t.  No one would be that stupid!

I parked in the same spot.  Maybe it was lying on the ground. Nope!  Stupid!  I searched the lot as we walked into the store.  This whole time Kristine or I are not saying a word to each other.  We walked the same path as we did the first time, my eyes scanning.  We got to the place that I had pulled out my phone to take the picture that Kristine ended up not liking.  No check!  Stupid!  I headed back to the register that I checked out and was hoping it was laying there or at least the cashier had found it and turned it in to the store manager.

As we passed a couple of aisles, all of sudden Kristine stopped dead in her tracks.  I stopped because she did and I looked to see the reason for her stopping.  She was looking down at the floor and then up at me.  I looked to the spot she was staring at and there in the middle of the aisle was my check.  I walked over and scooped it up.  I could not believe that it was lying there right in the open and no one had picked it up.  You could clearly tell that it was a check.  I began saying a prayer of thanks.  Kristine was in tears.  God had miraculously kept the check untouched for a good 20 minutes.

20 minutes!  That’s how long Kristine and I figured it had taken from the time we left the store to the time I realized that I had lost my check, to the time it took us to get back to the hardware store.   20 minutes, that’s how long God kept my check on the ground.  Obviously blinded to everyone else.  But sitting there in the wide-open aisle for Kristine and I to find.  As we walked back to the car Kristine was still wiping her eyes and she said ‘Do you really want me to tell you what I was thinking? “I looked at her and smiled.   She grabbed my arm and we both just fell into to each other and thanked the Lord for performing a miracle despite my stupidity.  God is gracious.

The other day on my way to work I had an “a–ha” moment. We sometimes may feel that life just hasn’t been fair. We see others with some of the things we would like to have, go places we would like to go. For some reason, whether it be health, finances, time, we are reminded constantly that we cannot have or go were others can.

My “a–ha” moment came when I was praying and as usual asking God for the many things that numerate my list. My own personal battle of not having or not being in the place that I, and I emphasize “I” feel I should have and where I wish I was at. I was not complaining I was just reminding God that I would love for this and it would be great if He blessed me with that. Then God showed me that He already did, and I went “a-ha”

As I continued my ride to work and my private time with God, He began to unfold for me and show me that I am right where He wants me to be. That the life I live is just what He wants for me to glorify Him. What I may look at as short comings and failures, He showed me it was a time of maturing and molding. He reminded me that He is the potter and that I am the clay.

As a tear slowly began to descend down my cheek, a smile came. My eyes were opened and I realized that everything I thought I was missing out on was from my worldly perspective. God showed me that when this and that happened to me, it was His this and that. He showed me that the life He gave me is one that has had its moments of fear and doubt, sadness and joy. That even when I made selfish decisions that hurt others, He still turned it around to glorify Himself and mold me into a better and stronger believer in Him.

It’s like that moment when you finally get it. That “a-ha” moment when everything becomes clear and I got excited to realize that God is doing just what He always does. He directs my path and guides my steps and when I go in a different direction He nudges ever so slightly, and in my case bumped a little aggressively many times because of how far off the path I strayed.

He is always there to love us and remind us that He is in control, even when it may seem that it is all spinning out of control and we get further and further away from Him. On that morning drive to work I was reminded and may we always remember, that when our life may not match what we wish it was, may we rest in the Author and Finisher of it all because He is still writing and isn’t finished yet.

So I am an author. I have a book in print. I decided to go the self-publishing route. Many feel (along with my wife), that’s the mark of a book that couldn’t make it through the traditional channels. In other words, not good enough. In today’s economy that couldn’t be further from the truth. Just like any other business the bottom line needs to be protected. Unless it is an exceptional story, well written and an immediate market for it, publishing houses are leery to take a chance. So in short, by todays standards maybe my book is not a blockbuster, but that doesn’t mean it won’t sell.

My editor is 100% supportive and  worked with my story to make it concise and a potent read. I picked my publisher after debating which would do me the best. I am working on my marketing strategy and the best way to let readers know my book is available. The cover, I have read, is the biggest and best way to get people to pick up your book. Once in their hands, that’s when the writing can grab them. But if the book isn’t even appealing enough to pick it up, it won’t matter how well it’s written. So I did my homework and read all about the world of self promotion. Just for the record, I also read that a book that is published the traditional way still needs a lot of promotion from the author.

Social networks and blogging is another way to promote, hence this blog. I am on Facebook, Twitter, and Google plus.  The road will be long, and at times frustrating, but I look forward to see where God will take me and use the gift He has given me.

So keep reading and keep in touch. If you have any advice please share. I will share all of my experiences, good or bad, and perhaps you will learn from it. The journey as far as writing the story has been a blast. I will share more on that in upcoming blogs. Until then, if you write, keep writing. If you’re a reader, keep reading my blogs.  Either way the ride will be long but I feel it will be fun. Keep in touch

Okay, this issue has driven me to the computer and the need to share with those who follow my blogs. We are on a slope that if not dealt with in the right way, (which I feel won’t be) we will just be adding oil to the slide and when the crash at the bottom finally stops this ride, the end result will not be pretty. In fact it should scare us to never want to take a ride on this slope again. If we do continue to ride, then the end result will continue to be worse.

Donald Sterling, according to the recording, has a racial problem. The comments he made are, or can be, taken that he has a problem with African Americans. That’s wrong! But that is not what has driven me to the keyboard. What has driven me to comment is the reaction by the media and the NBA. First let me say, I do not agree with, or feel the same way that Mr. Sterling does about African Americans. I have several friends and co-workers, along with fellow church members that are African American. What has made the hair on the back of my neck stand up is what is happening to our privacy.

Again, and I wish I would not have to preface everything with this statement, but because of political correctness and affirmative action I need to so that I protect my right to say what I want. That’s the problem I have. What has happened to the first amendment? We live in a day where we have to be so politically correct it actually interferes with my first amendment right of free speech. Again I will state this but it will be for the last time because I said enough that people should be aware that I am not racist. I have no problem with African Americans.
What I say in private, in my own home should not be subject to scrutiny. If we have freedom of speech anywhere, it should be in our own home. No matter what the subject may be. Whether it is a race issue, gay rights, political, or religious it should be void of reprisal from outside the walls of my home. But we are so media driven and fed that we jump on all the perceived wrongs because we are spoon fed that they are wrong. On the surface they may be, but when put into their proper context we should be able to decipher the conclusion. But we can’t or we don’t want to, because we are fed all the info from our media instead of looking at the facts or the situation or the setting of what has taken place. We should do our due diligence to get all the facts. Instead we sit back and let the media spoon feed our minds with the dribble that will make the story taste the way they want.

In a conversation that I was having on this subject, I was told that Mr. Sterling should have known better than to say those things. My response to that was, “Not in his own home. He should be able to say how he feels about anything without fear of retribution” I will bet you he is not the only owner of a business that has shared in the privacy of their own home how he or she feels about one or more of their employees, whether it is an issue of race, sexual orientation, political, or religious. I will also wager that Mr. Sterling is not the only owner, or CEO, Operation Manager, Foreman, Lead Person, or whatever title of authority you want to give, that has had a disparaging thing to say about a selected group of people who work for the company that gave them that authority.

I will also go as far as to say that of the thousands of thousands of fans that watch the L.A. Clippers and all other sporting events may be just as guilty of saying a derogatory statement at one point, either at a game or in private. And that’s it, private. While this conversation continued, it was brought up that with today’s technology we can be recorded and not even know about it. That I will agree with and that’s wrong too and where the problem is.

As I stated earlier, because of political correctness and affirmative action and now with the addition of technology we have put the first amendment on the back burner and we now give up our right of free speech out of fear. The first and second amendments of our constitution are in danger of being erased from existence if we continue to down this slope. And like I began I will end. The results will be devastating.