What makes a hero? Why is it a person whom always seems to be measured by how much money they make or how many awards they have achieved? They should be a person with characteristics that exude the normal person. I’m sure that if you or I were to make a list, each list would have similar names and recognizable people on them. There is one hero whose place of prominence unfortunately changes as the year’s race by. It’s not because of anything they have done; (sometimes!) it just happens. Dad is often the hero whose idolization comes to a halt.
In the life of a child the position of the dad changes with age. It’s different for a boy than a girl. Being the father of a girl I can relate. For a boy the dad is the one who teaches him how to be a man. Whether through fishing, hunting or how to build a campfire, maybe fix a bike, and later his own car, the dad helps the son to survive and be responsible for for himself. On the playground a dad is lifted up so high on a pedestal that in the child’s eye he could do anything and succeed. How often does a child brag on what their dad can do? “My dad can do…”or “my dad is better than…” The best one is “My dad can beat your dad,” the personal challenge that pits one dad against the other and the dads may not have even met each other. A father would never let their children in on any of his secret fears. Maybe the fear of spiders or other types of bugs that would raise the hair on the back of his neck, but would never let his kids know. He would always be brave in the face of his fears in front of his kids.
A father and a son have a bond that is different than with a daughter. The dad wants to see his son learn the hard way. He wants to see his son make accomplishments that will mold him into a man. Teach him all the ways of being a gentleman to the ladies and always to have respect for his elders and earn respect of his peers. A father and son have a bond that is stretched but never broken.
The relationship between a father and his daughter(s), well that is a different story. The father is sometimes refuses to let the bonds stretch at all. You see, to a father his little girl will always be his little girl. No matter the age, that position will always stay the same. The dad is his little girl’s hero. The one who protects her from whatever it is that is hiding under the bed or in the closet. He is the one who will pick her up after scraping a knee and giving her a warm and reassuring hug and the confidence to try again.
When I was a child, when learning to ride a bike and I were to fall, I was told, “Come on now don’t cry, you’re alright, get back on that bike and do it again”. In my life as an adult I have heard other dads offer that same advice to their sons. But the minute their daughter hits the ground they can’t get there fast enough to the rescue their fallen little girl. When their little girl isn’t little anymore, (Except to dad) and she starts catching the eye of the boys and they start swarming like sharks (at least the dad thinks they are) the father becomes protective and fearful at the same time. Fearful because he once was a shark and knows what they’re like. The danger they impose.
The real reason for the fear is the dad knows that it will not be long before his position as his little girls hero will be relinquished and taken away by another. No longer will his little girl see him as her protector, as the one who is strong above all else. No that has been taken away by a new man in his little girl’s life. That’s the reason for the dad to be even more protective. (Maybe even to appear over protective). That’s the reason why so many dads have a problem with their little girl having a boy.
The bonds between a father and son may stretch, but a dad is fearful that the bonds with his little girl will be break. So the protection is different. Not because the love is different, it’s just more definite with a daughter then a son. Yes they are protective, but I also think it is a little jealousy of being replaced as their little girl’s hero. To all the dads out there, whether you raised boys or girls, you are a hero in their eyes at all times. The bonds will stretch forever and over miles and time. Do not fear dad, the love that was there from the start, will always be in their hearts
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